


The Sorcerer's New Groove

by TaleasOldasTimeandSpace



Series: Adventures of Darcy and Balrog [8]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: A LLAMA?!, Balrog the Bilgesnipe, Cloak and Antlers, Crack, Don't try this at home kids, Drabble, Fluff and Crack, Gen, HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!, No seriously don't, Spells gone awry, Wendy the Cloak of Levitation, Wong is Chill, and slightly evil but who isn't, don't ask me what this is or where it came from I have no idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 03:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19033522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace/pseuds/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace
Summary: Wong does not get paid enough for this





	The Sorcerer's New Groove

Beyoncé rang out, loud in the silence of the library as she sang about being crazy in love.  Wong answered without bothering to look at his phone screen.  ‘Darcy.’

‘Wong!  Hey!  Quick question:  What would you say if I told you I may have turned Stephen into a llama?  Hypothetically speaking, of course.’

He flipped a page.  ‘A llama?  He’s supposed to be dead.’

‘…Okay, props for the reference, but it doesn’t really help my hypothetical problem.’

‘Darcy.’  He leaned back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand.  ‘Please tell me you didn’t turn Stephen into a llama.’

‘I did not turn Stephen into a llama.’

‘Good, for a second you had me—’

‘On purpose.’

_ ‘Darcy.’ _

‘It was an  _ accident!’ _  He had to pull the phone away from his ear as her voice went shrill with defensiveness.  ‘C'mon, Wong, are you gonna help me or not?  Cause the side eyes Wendy’s giving me is ridiculous, considering she doesn’t actually have eyes.  Do you know what it’s like to be judged and found wanting by sentient outerwear?’

‘Send me a picture.’

‘So you can assess the situation?’  He could hear the hope in her voice.

‘No.  Blackmail.’

The line was silent for so long he started to think she’d hung up.  Then, ‘Me or Stephen?’

‘Yes.’

Another pause.

‘That’s fair.  Hang on a sec.’  There was a rustle, a muffled  _ stop laughing, Balrog, it’s not funny that your girlfriend wants to kill me! _ and a  _ click  _ as she took the picture.  A moment later, the  _ snap-hiss _ of an igniting lightsaber signaled the incoming text.

The attached image was…  More than he could have hoped.  An incredibly disgruntled llama glared at the camera, the Cloak of Levitation clasped at his neck.  ‘This is…’  Words failed him.

‘Horrifyingly beautiful, right?’

‘Indeed.’  The way llama!Stephen’s eyes seemed to follow him was almost mesmerizing.

‘So?’  Darcy’s voice snapped him out of his staring contest with the Llama Supreme.  ‘Will you help me or not?’

‘There’s two ways we can do this.  One will take quite a bit longer than the other.’

‘But it’s safer?’

He let his chair tip back so he could stare at the ceiling.  ‘No, the risks involved are about equal.’  Was that a cobweb in the corner?

‘So it’s easier?’

‘Both methods are fairly complicated.’  It  _was_.  Did no one respect books anymore?

‘So, uh, tell me if I’m missing something, but why exactly would we use the long method, then?’

He was going to have stern words with the initiates in charge of cleaning the library.  ‘Because.’

‘Because…?’

If they didn't like it, he could just send them to Darcy to be llamafied.  ‘Because it would be that much longer with Stephen as a llama.’

She didn’t respond.

‘Darcy?’

‘I’m in.’

**Author's Note:**

> Stephen was a llama for roughly a month. He was not a happy llama. Darcy was trying to cast a spell that would allow Stephen to mimic her animal/AI/sentient outerwear communication powers, because he wanted to get a better idea of how the whole thing worked. So really it's all his fault.
> 
> Darcy is quite happy to be Wong's enforcer when it comes to Proper Library Maintenance. Generally showing them a picture of the Llama Supreme is enough, but there's always that one.
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr!](https://taleasoldastime-andspace.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> Namarie, my little bilgesnipes!


End file.
